First, I’d like to salute your bravery.
Then a couple of comments:
There are a lot of theories about how humans evolved to be the most social of all mammals: group hunting, group child-rearing, etc. Probably these are all true and eusociality is ‘over-determined’ but, imho, the most likely core driver is competition with other primate groups including other human tribes. The best cooperators won raids or successfully defended against them. This gives our deep ability to empathize and cooperate and our genocidal tendencies the same root. Us vs Them is baked in and needs to be understood to be worked with.
I don’t think it’s an accident that religious geniuses like King and Gandhi are in firmly Mahayana tradition. Big boat religion is one of the paths out. But I think it’s important to understand that Us/Them thinking is often ‘fast thinking’ and has to be very consciously guarded against.
Second, I agree completely with where you root a certain type of male ‘nerd’ anger although I’ve observed it in both men and women. Unfortunately, to quote Atwood, “Men have to fear being laughed at while women have to fear being murdered.” (Might be slightly misquoted…this is from memory.)
Thanks for the thoughtful writing.