That sounds terrible. I’m an introvert with mild social anxiety so I can at least get close to imagining this. (Also, I had a ruptured appendix at 14 and graduated from HS at 76 lbs and college at 128 lbs on a 6' frame so I was definitely not considered the hot date despite being smart and funny.) Plus, we’re in a situation with COVID where it would be hard to find a social group, church, social anxiety support group, etc, where you could really bring your A-Game about something, attract attention that way, and build.

But, back to the article, it seems unlikely that you’d ever end up in the 1x1 meeting but, if so, that would seem to be a good way to get some feedback on what wasn’t working and some positive suggestions on how to move forward with that particular relationship and in general. Do you disagree? What would you suggest instead? Nothing?

Btw, most of my high school buddies who were hit on women obnoxiously did not suffer from social anxiety that was causing them to act inappropriately. They were just acting like jerks and should have been called on it.

And I’ll have to admit, I find it a little disturbing that you’ve divided the world up into two distinct groups of people (men and women) and are assigning all these specific traits to both. The descriptions don’t really match the people I know.

Berkeley Backpacking Biz Lifer, System Builder, Coder, Community Organizer, Music and Evolutionary Biology Geek. Sign up and my projects at

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store